ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
