i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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