Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
