You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
