i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
