just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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