He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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