He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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