We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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