ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
