Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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