I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
