It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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