what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
