I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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