I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
