This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
