Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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