Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Sober January is a disaster.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
