so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
