He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
