Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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