Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
