I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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