During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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