I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
