Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
