Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
