Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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