Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Randomize
