Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
