I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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