So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
