I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
