Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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