i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
not ubering you a puppy
My liver is preforming stress tests.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
