I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
