hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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