Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
