Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
These tits shall not be calmed
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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