you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
