I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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