Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
