So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
