just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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