Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
