Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize