i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
