The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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