guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
